14th April, 2024.

It’s just me, sitting crossed-legged in the baking, midday sun, facing the Kaaba, surrounded by nothing but my thoughts, or at least that’s how I imagined it. I hoped coming here would solve most, if not all of my problems, however, unfortunately, your problems follow you wherever you go, well, mine do anyways. 

It was beginning to die down after the influx of people during Ramadan, yesterday being the last day of Eid, I said my final Du’aas in front of the holy structure, general, nonetheless sufficient, specifics aren’t as important as I once thought I’ve decided, wants driven by our minute thinking, a reminder to allow space for the unthinkable.

Khalas, it’s time to go! As I gather myself to leave, I notice a wave of emotion trying to escape, my eyes start to feel damp, questioning if it is heat caused, I look up, tears begin to creep through, was I crying? I didn’t want to leave, I didn’t want this feeling to end, I was content, grateful, I felt a sense of surety in my life, and most importantly in my faith. I came here searching for answers, but maybe, maybe I had them with me all along.